Deep inside the Iraq Survey Group
It simply goes without saying. We can't disclose sources or methods. But courtesy of our patented Blogotronic Recorder™, we've happened upon a video of the Iraq Survey Group's final meeting. This transcript captures the last few minutes before the report's release. Sit back, light a cigar, and enjoy the wisdom of the august ISG in action.
Lee, how many blue-ribbon commissions have you chaired now? | Well, if you count America's Top Senior Model, that'd be nine. | Impressive. The 9/11 Commission, the ISG, and Top Senior Model. That's like winning the Triple Crown of geriatrics. Dammit, just forgot what I was gonna say. Oh... got it: are you almost done proofreading the report? |
Do you spell retreat with an "ee" or an "ea"?
| Dammit, you senile old coot, it's an "ea"! Er... what time is supper? | You've got to admit: this report is sheer genius. Negotiating with Iran and Syria is the key. And no one thought of it before us! |
I know! We've still got it. Ya' see that waitress at lunch? She was checkin' us out. | She could smell the testosterone in the room. It's pungent in here. | *** Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrripp *** Whoa. Excuse me! That damn bean soup shore didn't agree with my belly. |
Dammit! Not again, Baker! Where's the air freshener? | You havin' any second thoughts about this recommendation? | Whatcha mean? |
Well, doesn't it seem like we're going to be back in the Middle East a quarter-century from now, fighting a much larger-scale, much bloodier conflict? | James. Do I look like I'm going to care 25 years from now? | Point taken. Hey, are we done yet? I think it's nappy time. |
Oven-baked good readin', just like Mama used to make:
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