News Today In Usa

Bill Clinton seeks solace in the company of old friends

Hello?


Gennifer. This is Bill. We need to talk. I really miss you. I'm lonely and that crazed monkey Chris Wallace sandbagged me on Fox - hello? Hello?

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Hello?


Kathleen! Hi, this is Bill. I know it's been a while, but did you happen to see that Pathway to 9/11 TV movie? It was a flat-out lie... you there? Hello? Anyone there?

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Hello?


Paula... how are you? This is Bill. Been a long, long time. Just wanted to see how you're doin'? I was wonderin' - did you ever read Dick Clarke's book about 9/11... uhm, hello? Hello? C'mon!

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Hello.


Juanita - long time no talk to. This is Bill. Was checkin' in to see how you are? And if you happened to catch Fox News on Sunday? Did you - dammit! Hello? HELLO! For the love of... oh, man, this is bad.

Okay... last name on the list...

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Hello?


Monica! Bill here - hey, don't hang up! I just...

Bill? Is that really you? Hey, I'm walking through the airport and I really can't talk -


BIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLL! I'M TIRED! COME INTO THE BEDROOM NOW AND RUB MY FEET! I MEAN IT, I HAD A REALLY, REALLY HARD DAY! GET IN HERE NOW!


Busy, honey - on the phone with -er- CNN. Give me just a few minutes!

(whispering) Monica, you there? Monica! Monica? DAMMIT!


Oven-baked good readin', just like Mama used to make:
RWNH: I wouldn't wish it on my own worst enemy
Wizbang: Conference call with Dick Morris